The Journal (SPOILERS: Episode 85)
SPOILERS: Do not read this entry if you haven't listened to Episode 85: Quantum Lamp.
Below is the contents of Gorm's Journal that was read aloud in Episode 85: Quantum Lamp by Pinwin.
Day 41 of Spring 358 Coronation Date
Twenty three starfire rubies
Eleven silver bars
Eight gold bars
One hundred and fifteen copper bars
Six hammers (various sizes)
Two hundred eighty six moonstones
Day 60 of Spring 258 Coronation Date
Do you think it’s possible to love two people at once?
I’ve been asking myself this question for some time now, but I’m not sure what I’ve come to as far as an answer. One can devote themselves to a person and love them fiercely and unendingly, but I wonder if when a new feeling erupts, confusing though it is, if that’s not just a passionate fancy, or if it’s truly something worth taking a look at.
I find myself seeing her face in my dreams. I hardly ever dreamed before, and now I find that my nights are filled with her beautiful features. Captivating blue eyes that see to the very foundation of me. Pale, periwinkle hair, like some enchanting river goddess. Her laugh--by the gods! Such a musical sound.
I search for her face in crowds, and her eyes always find me, and my heart begins to roar with the flames of longing. How can someone so different from myself create this warmth in my chest? I don’t know how to process this, but I know that I keep finding myself in positions to see her. This is troubling. But, oh! How I want to be troubled by her!
Day 39 of Summer 358 Coronation Date
Today was a day like none other. I’m practically in my youth again, smiling all the live-long day, like some love-struck pup! It’s mortifying and so revitalizing at the same time. The memory of her lips against mine will carry me through the rest of my life, if I never see her again. I was so overjoyed that on the way home I saw a field of wildflowers, and I skipped through them! I actually fucking skipped! What an old fool I’ve become. I’m conflicted with so many wonderful and awful emotions. Shame is preeminent. How can I face my family after this? How could I ever face Rosh? What can I do to quell this raging guilt? I’m a stupid man.
Day 48 of Summer 358 Coronation Date
I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on her. It would have been in ‘54 or ‘55.
I had just returned from an adventure beyond the Shattered Isles. Such a long fucking journey on a boat. Nothing but miles of ocean ahead of me and below me, and the rickety wood of a rocking ship the only thing keeping me from its depths. I hate the gods-damned sea.
The monsters we fought out there were-- ah, but I suppose that doesn’t matter now.
I was returning to my home. To Moonreach. I hadn’t seen her rolling hills and peach orchards in almost fifteen years, and not much had changed.
I had made some of my closest companions on that adventure, but only Rosh’Gall and I returned. I’d been glad for that at least. The others would be missed, but Rosh’Gall was my oldest and dearest friend. The two of us will die in battle together, that’s for damned sure.
We arrived in Stilltide early in the morning. We rode the horses hard for two days and arrived back at Moonreach mid-day.
Rosh’Gall was silent as we neared the village. The journey was hardest for him. He’d lost his sister at the frozen Krastemyr Tower. She was a ferocious warrior, but she had sacrificed herself to make sure the rest of us got out safely as the tower fell. I felt for him. Losing a loved one was never easy, as I knew all too well. I’d always promised the two of them a place in Moonreach, but… well, I knew it would have to be just him now.
The moment we entered the gates, I saw her.
She was like the sun. One of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen in my life, and there she was leaning against a fence post charming the pants off of some human. She must have arrived at Moonreach while I’d been gone--which wasn’t hard to imagine. Fifteen years will see a lot of new faces, even in a village as small as Moonreach. She smiled as I arrived and the crowd poured in. Everyone was there to greet us! My lovely family, they must have been there as well. I remember Rast’odan slapping me on the back and grabbing me into a hug. That memory shouldn’t be so hazy, but I’m afraid to admit that it was. But not my memory of her. That will forever be etched into my mind.
It wasn’t long before I found myself meeting this enchanting young woman calling herself “Zara”. A lovely name that was almost as lovely as she who bore it.
I met her uncle too. A hard-looking man by the name of Fennek. Of course, now I know all-to-well who Fennek really is, but even at the time I knew that he was not who he professed to be. A steel-gazed man claiming to be a stablehand. Wyr Karag’s dick! You get a sense for kindred spirits and with one look, I knew that Fennek had seen his fair share of battle, but I didn’t press him. A man like that has got a reason to say the things he says, and be who he wants to be without some loud-mouthed dwarf ruining it for him.
I learned that Zara had moved to Moonreach a few years after I’d left and had recently returned herself after being gone almost five years. She’d left to pursue glory and had achieved it. She came back as a highly-ranked member of the Companion’s Guild. Learning that had set my mind into very unseemly places. Of course, Moonreach’s finest were too far removed from the sort of world where Companions are commonplace, and they believed her to be a simple prostitute. It didn’t bother Zara though. No, she delighted everyone she encountered. Despite their reservations, the whole village seemed ensnared by her natural charm.
I was captivated by her as well. But so was Rosh’Gall…
I’m so sorry for what happened to you, my old friend.
Day 1 of Autumn 358 Coronation Date
I dreamt of Rosh again. I dreamt of the night that he was ripped from us. The battle in the Void. If it hadn’t been for Harken, we might have all died there. Legaia, Zara, Violet. Whatever that creature was, it was something unnatural, claiming to be benevolent whilst lulling us into its trap. I can still smell the scent of the flowers as they turned against us in that place.
Harken has abilities greater than any of us. I’m not sure who he really is, but he is not some simple soldier.
Someday I will find the key to opening that void chamber again, so that I might rescue Rosh, but each time I search the ruins, I find nothing but the rotting stone.
Zara was inconsolable. I did not blame her. Rosh had become her husband, and now she had had to raise their unborn child alone.
That was how it began. I consoled her for both our sakes, and when the child was born, I and others began to help raise the girl. Zara named her after Rosh’Gall’s sister, the one who had sacrificed herself at the tower. She named her Gorbel, and she embodied both of her parents in her countenance.
The villagers would ask if she was a Half orc, as most did not know what Rosh truly was. It seemed easier to say yes than to get technical. So Gorbel will know herself as a half orc, and that will be that.
Day 19 of Frost 358 Coronation Date
I have another son! Bergamot birthed a sturdy little dwarf.
He’s a handsome lad with a big gigantic head like his pappy! He is called To’Marr. I’m sure he will grow to befriend Gorbel, as well as the other young children in the village, Smuzog, Beldan and Lewin. And Legaia’s soon-to-be born second child.
Grow up strong, To’Marr Ironfist. Bring glory to the Ironfist Clan and do something great with your life. Not like your old fool of a father.
This was a joyous day. But also horrible.
I witnessed something so awful that my flesh began to crawl out there in the wood tonight. I will never forget the memory, and it is permanently etched into my mind’s eye.
I cannot ever betray the words that were